Bullying: Not Just For Children
Copyright (c) 2013 Wolf Starchild
They say that rumours spread through town in the time it takes for the truth to our on its jacket.
In today's society the damaged will often prey on the strong, confident and successful in an effort to level the playing field. Add illicit narcotics into the mix and you have bullies who can become so egotistical they will believe their own lies.
Often thought of as something that only effects youth, bullying has become something that can happen to anyone at any time.
In recent times there have been reports of people being bullied so bad, they have taken their own lives to escape from the constant torment.
Like anyone who wears their heart on their sleeve, and is always open and honest, I have been the victim of strung-out, self-righteous bullies.
My bullying came in the form a junkie who decided that I was a serious threat to him and his way of life. It's important never to try and understand the "why" of bullying. Normally bullies are very egotistical and lacking in mental stability. It's their craving of power over others that drives them to do what they do.
The only way this person could cope with my status as an active member of my community, involved in the development of nature connection was to do their best to circulate a series of rumours that are both unverifiable and juicy.
It's part of the human condition that we love gossip. We love hearing the "dirt" on others. The more outrageous the claims are, the more interesting it is. If you have difficulty believing this, watch any political debate before elections. They call it "mud-slinging"
Adult bullies are a whole different breed of bully than children. They don't go round posting lies on social media sites, or make direct threats. Even pot-heads are aware these actions have consequences.
Instead, they go behind people's backs and are sneaky. They circulate gentle rumours that are a mix of slightly believable, unverifiable And damaging to character all at the same time.
For example one individual who is a well known drug user in the community one used their limited knowledge of me to create an intriguing, shocking, and unverifiable rumour that they still attempt to perpetuate to this day. Over a decade later. The rumour was that I cornered them in a public gathering and threatened them with a firearm.
The rumour was shocking, and unverifiable (there was no one else around at the time -- of course) but was made easy to believe because I am the ex-military type and have always been pro-gun, and pro-freedom.
This rumour has plagued me for quite some time, and there is no real way to dispel it. The bully did a great job. The rumour has cost me many friendships and has made a great attempt to marginalize me as an individual.
Another more humorous rumour is that I was once the head of a cult somewhere in the United States and that some people had to break into the compound (all Navy Seal like) and extricate them from my grasp.
This rumour was spread when I was actively perusing a career as a travel writer and my work was published in magazines.
See the connection? I was actually off traveling and no one knew where I was, so it was easy to make up some amazing story to circulate.
Bullies are cowards. Never forget that. They will always use their best cloak and dagger routine to ensure that they do not get found out. This includes using fake names when they meet people.
Recently -- after over a decade of cowardice idiocy, an acquaintance of mine received a phone call from someone who they refused to identify. They said this person informed them of all cult-leading and gun-toting things that I had supposedly done. Plus a few new rumours that I had not heard before. This placed doubt in my acquaintances mind. After a decade of silence, these bullies were at it again.
This acquaintance even reported the effects of these bullies on their business as a result of having a friendship with me. This got to the point where this acquaintance was bullied into no longer associating with me because of the lies and rumours being spread. This activity allowed the bullies to get a rush of power because through spreading lies they can manage to control others in such a gentle way that they can make someone feel its their decision for not associating with me.
The sad part about the constant rumours is that people hear what they wish to hear, and would much rather believe the lies. Even to the point of violence.
Social media provides creeper-bullies great opportunity to embellish stories based on things they can learn about you.
A truly self-righteous and demented bully will literally follow you around in an attempt to spread lies and rumours to damage your character. Even though most bullies are unintelligent, and egotistical, they are knowledgeable enough to know they can be in real legal trouble these days for their actions. This leads them to be extra sneaky when they spread their lies and push you around.
Sadly there is never much resolve for the victims of these deeply disturbed individuals. Unless there is solid proof of how they have tormented you, there is little legal recourse.
These adult, sick, strung-out, drug crazed individuals will often perpetuate a lie to the point they believe their own lies! They can often become so passionate about destroying someone they will stop at nothing until they have marginalized, and alienated their victim. Sometimes to the point of suicide.
The only way to stop being victimized by bullies is to ignore them. Although a deeply disturbed individual will not be thwarted by being ignored. Attempting to defend yourself will often play into their already demented minds and make your situation significantly worse. Confronting the bully can sometimes escalate into physical violence or even more rumours being spread.
Truly the only safe way to take the power from bullies who start rumours and intimidate others is to ignore the rumours and not repeat them. This completely disarms a bully. By not perpetuating rumours and lies, you may even save someone's career and maybe their life.
If you wish to help dispel the myths about you, and help your community -- start volunteering. People will get to know the real you, and learn who you are. You will also be helping your community at the same time as diffusing your tormentors. There is nothing more shattering to a bully than telling lies and spreading rumours about you then hearing: "oh I know him, that's not true."
About the Author
Wolf Starchild is an Adventurer, Outdoor Educator, and Wilderness Guide living in Southern Ontario Canada. Wolfmaan has a passion for the outdoors and believes that anyone who lives an interesting life, has no right to keep it to themselves. http://www.wolfmaan.com |
